I talked with my sister on the phone. It’s been a while since we talked. I’ve told her in my email that I take it as a sign that her relationship is going well:) She denies she’s been inattentive to me, but we all know that’s not true. She likes her boyfriend, and I’m happy for her.
The only thing is mom doesn’t like him one bit. As of now. I’ve tried to tell her that it’s not her who’s going to live with him (yes, my sister’s talking marriage here) and that it’s not her business to judge him. My mom knows. It’s just that she has pretty fixed ideas of who she wants her daughters to be with. I’m embarrassed to say my mom’s criteria are very, um, keyed into social expectations, for lack of a better expression. She thinks my sister’s boyfriend (whom I’ve never met) is too unambitious, has a job that is not very well paying and not very prestigious (i.e. he’s not a doctor, lawyer, financier, professor, or the like), and is not that well off economically. She’s saying that she can’t imagine my sister living with a guy like that.
But that’s for her to work out with her boyfriend.
I understand my mom and love her. But this is one of those things that make me wish that she’d just take it easy and provide emotional support instead of trying to get her own way. If her daughter wants to be with a bum and is happy with a bum, why can’t she just accept the bum as he is? Maybe easier said than done. Not having been a mother, I don’t know what it’s like to be one. Though I have a tiny, just a tiny, suspicion that Korean mothers may be a bit, just a bit, more interfering in their children’s affairs than, say, American mothers.
Maybe she’ll like him more as she gets to know him better. I hope things work out well and that my sister marries the guy if she likes him well enough. It’d be encouraging to see one of us in a successful marriage. I’m beginnig to think if we’re not doomed to failure in our relationships with men given our relationship, or lack of relationship, with our dad and being tough and independent (not a feminine virtue in Korea). So, it’ll be good to see her happily married.
I have this vague desire to go home this winter even if I’ve been pretty recently. I don’t know why. My sister’s saying I should come. I think my mom wants me to come too. Maybe I’ll go. A friend asked if I’m interested in doing a four-week language program in a language school in Guatemala. It’d be good to have some Spanish under the belt. I need it. I’ll have to talk to the friend a bit more, see how serious he is about it, and then decide.
There’s a party I’ll be going to in about half an hour. I’m not sure if I want to go, but I’m going anyway, because, as a friend put it in his blog post, that’s what well-adjusted young people do. I’m not sure if I’m “young people” any more, but 60% of why I’m going is to appear social. Why do I live like this . . .
